Michael Trevino and Lady Gaga

"I called more than seventeen million times. You're unreachable," he said.

"I apologize. I'm terribly busy," she said.

"With what?"

"My little monsters mean the world to me."

"17 million and counting. Congratulations are in order!"

"Thanks a million times."

"I would like to become one of them."

"Yes, of course."

"I meant, will you marry me?"

"Right now, I'm married to my liitle monsters."

"You're Mother Monster. I want to be Father Monster."

"Shhhhhhhhhh."


It begs the question. Will their marriage be made in heaven or hell? I would rather take the 5th. This doesn't mean that their marriage is destined for hell. Given that I enjoy playing cupid, they should consider taking it to heaven.

Chris Martin and Gywneth Paltrow

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked.

"Your face," he said.

"What about it?"

"It reminds me of an English Rose."

"I'm American."

"Your ancestors might have been English."

"Perhaps."

"I wrote a song for you."

"For me?"

"Yes."

"Yellow."

"It sounds sweet."

"The stars shine for you."

"Thank you very much."

 On December 5, 2003, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow got hitched. They have a son and daughter. It begs the question. Is their marriage made in heaven or hell? Heaven!!! Without question, they are a handsome couple.

Pitbull and Nicki Minaj

"I like your petiteness," he said.

"My what?" she asked.

"I meant your d.........," he said.

"My what?"

"I forgot. You don't speak French."

"What?"

"Me and you should go out."

"Where?"

"It's up to you."

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Look! I get to ask all the questions, not you."

"All rightee."

"What exactly do you have in mind?"

"Champagne."

"Champagne?"

"Yes."

"Go to hell!"



"Give me everything."


"What part of hell do you not understand?"


"All of it! I want some international love."






It begs the question. Will their marriage be made in heaven or hell? I would take the 5th. This doesn't mean that their marriage is destined for hell. Because I enjoy playing cupid, they should consider taking it to heaven.

Steve and Laurene Jobs

"You're the one," he said.

"I beg your pardon?" she asked.

"You're the woman I've been waiting for all my life."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're the most beautiful woman on earth."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You're the smartest of them all."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Will you marry me?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Please say, yes."

"Who are you?"

"Apple."

"Apple?"

"CEO. I founded it with my partner."

"I'm impressed."

"I would like to marry a smart and beautiful woman."

"Thank you for the compliments. Yes, I will marry you."

"You're the Apple of my eye."



On March 18, 1991, Steve Jobs and Laurene Powell got hitched. They have a son and two daughters.  It begs the question. Is their marriage made in heaven or hell? Heaven!!!They lived quietly and happily ever after. They loved one another to death.

President George W. Bush

"Mr. President, I'm sending you court documents via email. Female terrorists kidnapped my only child the day before my June 21, 2003 birthday and killed my beloved father on October 7, 2003. Following my losses, I started to take them to court on behalf of all children, my son and I. I asked defense attorneys to donate money to children's organizations in my name. Because they didn't believe in family values, their refusals were adamant. If anything, I should receive a Nobel Peace Prize for fighting passionately for children in 24 federal courts. What's more, I enhanced the economy. More than 200 defense attorneys, 100 federal judges, 100 magistrate judges and 100 deputy clerks were hired. Not to mention that some of the corporations I sued were headquartered outside the United States of America. You and I share common goals. In September 2001, male terrorists bombed the twin towers in NYC. More than 3,000 people died. Several people lost their loved ones," I said.

"Amanda, Laura and I are praying for you. We send you our best wishes and condolences," President George W. Bush said.

Because I'm the daughter of a reporter, my father instilled courage, honesty and integrity. When my enemies abducted my son, I litigated suits. I wasn't alone. I took children with me to court. Prior to filing suits, I telephoned several politicians in the Democratic Party. I asked them to rescue my child. However, my pleas fell on their deaf ears. Simply, they don't believe in family values. In June 2004, I started sending President George W. Bush my complaints via email. I wrote more than 300. I wasn't certain if he would ever read them. In December 2004, I received a letter from him. As a matter of fact, he sent me a letter every year until he left office in January 2009. I received the last one on January 20, 2009.

"Just keep telling the truth. It doesn't matter if some people don't believe you. If one person out of a million believes you, you've done a marvelous job. If you were to marry one million men, would you marry one man or a million men? He will be your greatest fan and supporter," Papa said.

On October 7, 2003, Papa died from anxiety in view of the fact that female terrorists abducted my son. He would be thrilled I found the one man out of a million. President George W. Bush was the magic ace. Papa was an astute diplomat, legendary journalist, and a renowned politiician. If truth be told, I was grooming my son to follow in his politcal footsteps. My son would have been an attorney had he not been savagely taken away.  October is full of surprises. Steve Jobs also passed in October (5th). I bought my first computer from Apple in 1993. It's the only computer I've ever owned. I now invest in laptops. I donated it and other valuable personal belongings to a children's organization in 1995. Almost every Sunday, I take pictures at the Apple stores in Atlanta, Los Angeles and New York City. May their souls rest in heavenly peace! Both men were genuis.

It begs the question. Marriage Made in Heaven or Hell? Would our marriage have been made in heaven or hell? Heaven!!! He was the magic ace as well as the one man out of the one million I asked for help. I knocked on one million doors. Only one door opened. Thank you, President George W. Bush for hearing my voice!

President Barack Obama

"You should marry President Barack Obama," he said.

"I can't marry him. He already has a wife," I answered.

"He will divorce his wife. You have the power to land him," he said.

"I don't want to land him. He has children. I'm an advocate."



I've played cupid in 24 federal courts. Hence, I single-handedly enhanced the economy and promoted family values. Needless to say, more than 200 defense attorneys, 100 federal judges, 100 magistrate judges and 100 deputy clerks were hired. Most importantly, I'm an economist. To be frank, I became one by default. I had geared up to graduate with a BS in Accounting, but I ended up with a BA in Economic and Mathematics by means of sexual retaliation. Because I practice abstinence, I'm not a consenting adult. Given that children are priceless, I litigated suits on behalf of them for nine trillion dollars from June 2003 until June 2010. I sued corporations for 9 trillion dollars. Some were headquartered outside America. While, we're on the subject, there are 12 zeros in a trillion.  Still, this amount isn't nearly enough to compensate the damages liable to children. Some are starving while others are injured. If truth be told, more people die by means of abortions than wars. More than 100 million dollars was poured into the economy. Some were pocketed under the table. I repeatedly asked defense attorneys to donate money to children's organizations. Not surprisingly, their refusals were adamant. That's why, I stopped. I've since replaced my suits with songs. I'm also an artist.


"You could put back money into the economy by slicing the salaries of members of your cabinet. Then, give it to the poor by marching with members of your cabinet to poverty-stricken areas. Some children live there. This would boost up the economy. Are you ready to show love to your people? By the way, my name is AmandaU. I'm an artist, author, and economist."

I sent this answer to President Obama via Yahoo yesrerday. It would guarantee an instant cure. Money is like earth. It revolves. If few people have it, the rest are starving. If you lend a hand to them, it boosts the economy. The old adage, "the more the merrier" rings true blue. Only 1% of people on earth are benefiting from her wealth. How about the other 99%? Are we not entitled to the piece of the pie? President Barack Obama should set an unprecendented example. It might earn him a re-election.



It begs the question. Marriage Made in Heaven or Hell? Would our marriage have been made in heaven or hell? Hell!!! Some children are starving while others are injured. By the same token, some adults are also in the same nightmarish predicament.

Deadbeat JayU

"I like the texture of your skin," said Deadbeat JayU.

"Thanks," I said.

"I would like to take you out," he said.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm too young to date."

"I like my women young."

"I'm not allowed to talk to you. Bye."

I've kept you in suspense long enough. You must be wondering who fathered my son. In December 1984, I crossed paths with Deadbeat JayU at a house party in Queens. I tagged along to one with my sister and her husband. As a matter of fact, Morgan F is the father of her first son. Since the day we met, he wouldn't let go of me. He called my sister more than fifty times. Finally, she gave him my number. At the time, he was 36 years old and I was 16.  Agreed, Deadbeat JayU is 20 years older than me. And I am 17 years older than my son. Bioliogically speaking, I was 8 when I conceived him. Because I survived brain injuries, I couldn't grow past 8 years old until I received stem cells from my son. In 9 months, I grew from 4 feet to almost 5 feet 5 inches. I might add that I was a child prodigy. Because of my brain injuries, I excel at advanced projects while I'm clumsy at basic ones. I started playing the piano at age 4.  At age 11, I earned a scholarship to study civil engineering in France in June 1979. I also landed another scholarship to study medicine in Canada in the same year, but I chose France. I wanted to acquire the French language.  Upon my arrival in Paris, I attended 2  more years of high school (A Levels) before starting my program in civil engineering. Given that I'm not good with basic tasks like hearing, talking and walking, I abandoned it in May 1983. Every summer, I took intensive French classes at the renowned University of Poitiers. In four years, I received a diploma in French at age 15. In June 1983, I boarded a plane from Charles De Gaulles airport and landed at John Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK) airport in NYC. Since the month I arrived, I started taking Math classes as a non-degree student at Baruch College until I became pregnant with my child. CUNY also owns it. I took on more than 42 Math credits (14 Math courses), including Advanced Calculus. I excelled in all of them. Not surprisingly,  only half of them were transferred to Hunter College. I should have graduated with 160 semester credits as opposed to 140.

"You're wasting your time. I won't go out with you. I'm busy studying."

"What are you studying?"

"I have plans to study Architecture. I abandoned my civil engineering program in Paris."

"Did you live in Paris?"

"Yes."

"You're what the doctor ordered?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm looking for a virgin."

"A virgin?"

"Yes. I like virgins."

"What makes you think I'm a virgin?"

"The texture of your skin."

"Really?"

"It's like a baby's skin."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I still won't go out with you."

"Why not?"

"I just don't date."

"You're now in America, not Africa."

"I just left Europe, not Africa."

"It won't be dating. I would like to invite you to my home. I'll play my guitar."

"Do you play the guitar?"

"Yes. I'm a musician. Right now, I'm studying for my Masters in communications at Brooklyn College. I plan to return to music. I had a band when I lived in Africa. I've been on TV since I was 10 years old. "

"I play the piano."

"I knew we had a connection. Will you marry me?"

On my father's birthday, February 10, 1985, my son was conceived. Two months later, Deadbeat JayU abandoned me under the Brooklyn Bridge. He wanted me to have an abortion, but I refused. Several women, including my so-called sisters and his sisters kept him abreast of my brain injuries. As a matter of fact, he faked his own death to avoid paying child support. In April 1985, I took him to court in Brooklyn. I sent the papers via certified mail to his home in Queens. However, they were returned to me. He had moved out. Next, I called his sisters at Columbia University.

"He's dead," one of his sisters said.

"Show me the death certificate," I asked.

"Go on welfare!" another one said.

After that, I sent them to his sisters' home. He still didn't show up in court. Hence, I became a single parent by default. When I was four months pregnant, I found a job at a law firm on Park Avenue in June 1985. I worked until Friday, November 15, 1985. My son was born on Sunday, November 17, 1985. I had two hours of labor. Two weeks later, I returned to work on Monday, December 2, 1985. I breastfed him for two weeks. I didn't know I could freeze my breast milk or eggs. I had recurring amnesia and deafness. Two years later, I enrolled at Hunter College. I attempted to earn a BS in Accounting in two years. I ended up graduating in 1990 with a BA in Economics and Mathematics. I home schooled and enrolled my son at Strayer University at age 16. At 17 and half, female terrorists kidnapped him the day before my June 21 2003 birthday. Four months later, my father died of anxiety on October 7, 2003. I endured more than 5,000 refusals to hire and 50 wrongful terminations at their jealous hands. I've labored temporarily as an Accountant and Senior Financial Analyst with more than 50 companies in Corporate America. If truth be told, the law firm assignment was the only permanent job outside my home in the history of mankind. It lasted almost five years.

It begs the question. Marriage Made in Heaven or Hell? Would our marriage have been made in heaven or hell? Hell!!! He abandoned me under the Brooklyn Bridge when I was 2 months pregnant. He faked his own death to avoid paying child support. He owes me more than $200,000.00 in back pay child support.